Weak
by Stronger than Words
Summary: A romance yet again...most my work will be love stories because I'm a hopeless romantic. This one involves an over achiever and an arrogant opposite.


Weak. She was so incredibly weak. She knew it. They knew it. She didn't want to admit it, but it was the truth.

All her life she had planned and planned. What she was going to do for the weekends. What college she was going to attend. Her extracurricular activities that were essential. She loved to plan. Because of this she was responsible for hr family's evacuation route in case of fire. She had drawn up the plan as of what do to in case of a tornado. Hurricane. Flood. Everything. She was an organizer, and beyond that, she was ready for everything. Except him.

It was their Sophomore year when they met. He was in a geometry class and he needed tutoring. Being the planner and over achiever that she was, she had signed up to be a tutor. Her teacher had 2 lists of names, those that helped and those that needed help. Looking back on it she thinks, how ironic that everyone thought it was he who needed her help.

She was scheduled to tutor him three days a week every week for the remainder of the first quarter. That was the total of about a month. She had arrived at the designated classroom precisely 10 minutes before 3:00. She had to get a feel for her surroundings to be comfortable in them. She also pulled one desk from the neatly assembled rows. She pulled it forward to the impact that this was a one on one tutoring session and that he could feel confident asking her any questions.

He strolled at exactly 3:08, precisely 8 minutes late. Another pet peeve of hers. She hated being late and she hated waiting on late people. Not the best first impression.

"Hi, I'm Ricky. I'm here to be tutored." He said, looking around.

"Hello Ricky, I'm Jordan. I don't want to waste anymore time so let's get back right to work. We only have about 50 minutes left. So what are you having trouble with the most?" She asked, trying to keep the distaste out of her tone. She could just tell this was going to be the longest 50 minutes of her day and the longest month of her life.

"Okay then…first off, I don't understand why you hate me. I don't know you other than your name is Jordan, you like things neat, and you can tell time." He replied, obviously not pleased with the salutation.

She sighed. He had such mannish manners. This was not going to last long. "You are wasting my time. If you needed a public relations tutor you should have specified. If there is nothing else you cannot comprehend I will surely be going. Good bye Ricky."

"Wait. I don't understand the U shaped graphs. They don't make sense to me. How can there be two x intercepts?" He asked just as she had started to gather up her materials and pack them up.

Once again she sighed. Here comes the pain and suffering that all colleges love on an application. Tutoring. "Parabolas." She said as she looked up and locked her eyes with his. She was going to show him that this was serious to her. "There're called parabolas. There are two x intercepts, referred to as roots, because of what you said. It's shaped like a 'U'." With this she dived deep into mathematical concepts that were inconceivable to him. After 45 minutes had passed he was just starting to make a few connections. "I suppose we'll stop there for today. You're expected back in this room Wednesday at 3:00 sharp. Please come more prepared. With an actual math text book if you don't mind." She said.

"Yow, someone's strict. What made you this way?" He asked.

Was he new here or something? Everyone knew she had been like this since grade school when she was steady organizing her legos by size and color and shape. No one had ever questioned her methods. "It's just how I am." She replied then help the door open waiting for him to exit the room. She didn't trust him in an empty classroom alone. There could be so much disaster to come.

He walked through and waited for her to lock it up. She had been given a master key since she was involved in so much of the school's organization and planning. After she retrieved her key from the door she picked up her gym bag, book bag, purse, and personal planner. As she straightened up, the contents of her purse spilled out onto the floor. To retrieve them she had to put down the book bag, empty purse, and gym bag. To her surprise he knelt down and helped her. He took the purse and held it open as she put away her possessions nice and neat. She wasn't sure she could trust him and immediately her brain had spun into planning mode. What if he took off running with it? Well then she would simply…

"Jordan? There's nothing left on the ground to pick up. And as stylish as this purse is, it clashes with my shirt. You mind taking it back?" He asked.

She took her purse from him and then tried to get the rest of her bags. She then realized the purse had to be picked up after the book bag. She was just about to let out yet another sigh when she saw him bend down and pick up the book bag.

"You've got your hands full. I'll take it for you." He said. She was very suspicious, she didn't know him and he had her book bag. He hadn't exactly been prince charming prior, either.

"Thank you," she said cautiously. She was sizing him up again. The second time in the past hour. Her very first impression when he had arrived at the class room was that he must like music, for he was wearing a _Senses Fail_ concert shirt and black jeans which suggested he was trying to be cool. His jet black hair lay in layers over his forehead. Only one word had come to mind then: grungy.

"So how are you getting home?" He asked seemingly at ease.

"My mom is picking me up. She'll be a while though. You can just set the bag down by the bench." She lied. She always walked home, but she didn't think it was safe to tell him that. She still wasn't sure what type of a person he was.

"No problem. My dad will be about an hour, so I guess we're both stranded here." He said, sitting down next to her. He was making her uncomfortable. You see, along with organization and planning, she was also obsessed with trust and the lack there of.

"Well actually, I suppose I'll just walk. It's not that far. I walk sometimes when it's nice out."

"You need any help with your bags?" He asked.

"No, thank you. I'll see you Wednesday." She said. She would rather not have him know where she lives. As she walked home she routinely check over her shoulder to make sure he wasn't following her. She knew she was being unfair to him. He had been very polite post tutoring, she was just too weak. If he decided to do something, she wouldn't have any kind of a fighting chance.

For the next two weeks he had come to the classroom at exactly 3:08 every other day for tutoring. He made a point of it too. Once she had walked out of the classroom to see if he was coming and saw him duck into the bathroom. He wanted to be exactly 8 minutes late every day. She had no idea why but eventually gave up trying to change his mind. He seemed exceedingly pleased the day that she hadn't chastised him for being late.

"Good afternoon, Jordan. How are you this fine, fine day at exactly 3:08 pm?" He asked with a smirk on his face. Everyday he'd point out the time.

"Just fine Ricky. And how are you?" She asked locking eyes with him. Though she had given up on the discipline, she wasn't going to show her weakness. She was going to appear strong if it killed her.

"Well, frankly, I'm confused. I don't understand what we talked about today in class. Oh, and I got my test back from last Friday…you're not going to be happy." He said with a smile. He knew she had given him one.

She was surprised. Not once had he been the one to start the math. Usually when she'd start he'd groan and suggest another activity for the hour (those include but are not limited to: graffiti, slashing the bus tires, and making out in the janitor's closet…none of which she had a huge mental debate about whether to or not) and would only cooperate when she gave him no other choice.

"Well let's work in chronological order. Last Friday you were tested on chapter 8, correct? Let's take a look at it."

As they spent the hour looking at his test and then the book and then the white board, she noticed she was actually leaning over his book to show him something in his notebook. She felt his arm brush against hers as he reached for another pencil. That was the first time they had actually touched. She was very reserved around other people so this was a big deal to her. He barely noticed.

As he led them out of the room at 4:00 he turned to her. "I don't think this is working. It makes sense when I watch you do it, but I just don't understand it." He said while grabbing her book bag.

"Have you been practicing? It may just be you're not spending enough time thinking about it." She said as they started to walk out.

"I just don't understand it. I don't know what to do." He said. He sounded like he genuinely cared about his education so she broke down.

"During lunches I can help more. We only have the room on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, but we might be able to get the back room in the library. Do you usually buy or bring lunch?" She asked.

"I don't usually eat lunch. I eat when I get home, so that's not a big deal." He said.

"So how often do you want to do a lunch session?" She asked.

"Well I don't want to take away your social time. I'd prefer every day, but it's what you want to do since you are not obligated to do this."

"Okay, not tomorrow because I have to see the availability of the room. But the day after that we can start a daily lunch session. Good bye Ricky." She said as he handed her the book bag and she walked home. She no longer checked over her shoulder. She trusted him.

So they continued this newly revised tutoring schedule. She didn't mind missing lunch at all. Jordan wasn't the best at making friends and often ate alone. Now she felt as if her lunch was much more productive and she liked that.

Then came the week of mid terms.

With special permission from the teacher whose room they inhabited after school three days a week, they studied every day after school along with lunch. Something very scary was happening to Ricky. He was beginning to understand it all. It was as if his mind had finally caught up. He was terrified that his grades would rise to point where tutoring wasn't necessary and Jordan would be assigned to some other needy kid. He looked forward to their sessions too much to let that happen. But he also knew that if he didn't start improving rapidly, then he would be reassigned and it would pollute her perfect college application. He couldn't hurt her in such a way either.

He was determined to make an A on the midterm exam. He studied with her as hard as he could and didn't goof off as she had become accustomed to. With all the studying they saw each other more and more. They would often pass in the hall and he'd smile or wave. She usually saw him and would nod in his direction to acknowledge his presence. To most guys that would sting if that's all they got, but he was pleased with it. He had been getting to know her more and knew that she was extremely cautious and that the head nod was the best she could do.

The last session they had before his exam, she gave him a practice test. It was only about 30 questions, two or so per chapter, but still, he took 45 minutes. She was pleased with this because that meant he was taking it seriously and checking over his work. When he finished he brought it to the teacher's desk that she was sitting behind. She had the key and graded it.

"Well I'll be darned. You got a perfect score. Congratulations." She said. He could tell she was amazed and impressed.

"But the real test is something like 80 questions. I doubt I'll be as lucky." He said.

"A piece of last advice and we'll end early today. Don't study tonight. Your brain will become focused on only what you study and may not remember everything else. Go home and do something productive. Take a walk, cook something. Whatever you end up doing, enjoy yourself." She said as she packed up her bags.

"Thanks. So, if I get an A on this exam does that mean this tutoring thing is over?" He asked.

"Depends on what your teacher says. Most likely though, yes. You'll get your life back." She said. If he didn't know her better he'd say she sounded almost upset about that.

They walked out of the school and she headed home. She began to think about his question. She would have an extra hour of time every other day, or at least until she was assigned another kid to tutor. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. All her life she had worked on not needing anything from anyone, but was she really so weak that she depended on him to be there every day at 3:08? She became disgusted with herself.

He passed his exam with flying colors. Not only did he get an A, but he got the fifth highest grade in his class. No doubt the teacher decided to end the tutoring sentence. When he arrived at the classroom the next day to tell Jordan as they had planned, he got there at exactly 3:00. To his surprise, she was nowhere to be found within the room. She was never late. He wondered if he should worry.

At exactly 3:09 she strolled in with a big, goofy grin on her face. He sighed a sigh of relief.

"I was beginning to worry. You're never late. What happened? I was here at 3:00 on the dot." He said matter of factly.

"I was going to be later than you for once." She said. "How was the exam? Did she grade it already like she promised?"

"I got a 95. Fifth highest grade in the class. There were 100 questions." He said. "She decided to end the tutoring program for me." He added the last part with a heavy tone.

"Well Ricky. I'm proud of you." She said, keeping her composure the best she could, but he saw it in her eyes. It was almost a sadness. As close as she could get, he assumed.

After a couple seconds of silence he spoke. "Since you had to give up so much of your time for me, beyond obligations mind you, I'd like to treat you to supper."

"I don't know…" she replied.

"I don't know what you don't know because it was obviously not a question. What are you doing this Friday night?" He asked.

"Actually this Friday is free." She said, she decided not to fight him on this one. "Where were you thinking?"

"Maybe just dinner and a movie…" He said slightly quieter than before. Was he perhaps getting shyer?

"What movie?" She asked.

"Maybe the new vampire one. It's whatever you're into. This is just a small token of my gratitude."

"Hmmmm…" shehummed as she mauled this over. She knew she could trust him so why not? "Here's my number, give me a call as to when." She said handing him a slip of paper with 7 digits on it.

Friday night rolled up and she was actually getting kind of nervous. She didn't know why. They had been seeing each other every day for a month now. She could feel this was different though. Her mother was taking her and when she got there at precisely 6:00, she found-not to her surprise- that he wasn't there yet. 8 minutes later showed up.

They got their food and made their way to a table. "So I've been thinking," he starts off.

"Uh oh," she smiled. She had grown so comfortable around him.

"I had been sucking up your weekdays and lunches. So I feel the need to apologize to your friends. May I Monday at lunch?" He asked. He, himself, had planned this. Perhaps Jordan was rubbing off on him.

"That won't be necessary. I don't eat with anyone." She said, looking down at her food.

"Perfect. Because I have come up with a way to repay you for helping me with algebra." He said. "I'm going to teach you how to make friends."

"Excuse me?" She asked, confused. She knew that she would probably benefit from these lessons, but she still wasn't sure.

"I believe the way you put it was 'public relations' that first day of tutoring." He said with a grin.

"So you're going to teach me how to be popular?" She said with a laugh. It seemed to her that popularity was a curse.

"No, I'm going to teach you to loosen up. What do you say?"

In all honesty he could have offered to teach her to juggle and she'd agree. She was actually dreading Monday, not seeing him. How weak he has made her. "Yes. Where are you going to instruct me? We can't very well use the same room."

"Maybe at your house?" He asked. This was the deal breaker. He had seen how she was constantly checking over her shoulder that first day. He also knew she had grown to trust him.

"I'll have to ask my parents…" But she knew that wouldn't be a big deal. Her parents trusted her judgment. "But that shouldn't be a problem." She added.

The rest of the night was extremely enjoyable. He didn't try any of the usual first date moves because he knew that would make her uncomfortable. She was grateful for that. She wasn't yet completely sure of what their relationship was.

When she met him after school for her first lesson she didn't know what to expect. He had no lessons planned, not even an idea of where to start. So the lesson became one for him about planning.

"You really do love organizing stuff, don't you?" He asked.

"I guess you could say that. I don't know how it started. I just grew up in a messy situation and tried to get my life under my control the best I could." She confessed. She looked far away for a moment and then came back to him. "So since then I plan everything I can. It's a way of assurance that I am in control. You know, I have a plan for pretty much everything. For instance, if someone were to come at me to hit me at school, I know what I would do. If I'm being pursued I have a plan. If I see a fight I have a plan."

"Okay, here are my plans for those, hit back, run away, and keep walking." He said with a kind smile. "I'm not very organized."

"Well I'm just…prepared. I wouldn't hit back. I wouldn't run. I would stop the fight."

"Woah, you're saying you would stop a fight? Even between two guys you don't know? You could get seriously hurt." He said.

"Well if that's what it takes, then that's what I'll do." She said defiantly.

"Not if I'm there. I'm not letting you get hurt." He said stubbornly.

"Someone has to stop the fight." She said as they started walking to the front door. It was almost 4:00.

"You listen to me, Jordan. If you ever see a fight happening, don't break it up yourself. Run and get someone bigger than you, stronger than you. Someone that can handle two out of control guys."

"Ricky, I'm not weak." She said as she opened the door. His mom's car could be seen coming up the road.

He hugged her before he went out. It was the first time he had hugged her and she was a little taken aback. She didn't really know what to do, so she tried to hug back. It was the first hug she had gotten from a non relative. She tried to stay away from people and not form any kind of feelings. Life was easier that way. She wouldn't get hurt. No one would know how weak she was.

As he walked out of the door he just wanted to scream at her. He couldn't let anything happen to her. He also felt he had offended her, she thought he was calling her weak. The truth was, he was the weak one. He wasn't sure what would happen if she got hurt. He couldn't face that.

For the next few months they spent every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday with each other at her house. They also ate lunch together each day. It turned many heads of people who had known Jordan for a long time. No one had ever really gotten close to her. This was shocking for them.

He was slowly starting to understand her like he had no one else. She began to open up to him too. They really didn't do 'lessons' any more. If he needed help on what they were doing in math then she would help him. If he noticed some nervous habit of hers, then he'd help her to find a way to break it. Slowly she was developing 'people skills'. She had no one to thank but Ricky. As he did this, he noticed some more people coming to sit with them at lunch or talking to Jordan in the hall. He suddenly became protective of her as he noticed more and more of these people were guys.

Then one day, he decided to try something new. They were at her house again and they were doing their homework. The conversation this time was about her planning. "So what would you do if something completely unexpected were to happen?" He asked.

"It would probably throw me for a loop." She replied, taking another sip of her diet coke.

"But how would you react? You have to learn at some point that nothing's ever going to go the exact way you plan." He said. Already and idea was forming.

"Well hopefully I can manage." She said. There was more conversation after that, but nothing too extravagant. Then the hated time came upon them. It was almost 4:00. They both got up from the table and he started to pack up his work. As he zipped up his book bag she started for the door. This was him moment.

He grabbed her wrist and she spun around, surprised. He looked into her eyes and she into his. It wasn't a locked, harsh look, but much softer.

"Ricky?" She questioned. She didn't know what was going on.

"Just so it's not unexpected…I'm going to kiss you okay?" He said, smiling slightly.

"Wha-" was all she could get out before he fulfilled his statement. He wasn't sure what she'd do so when she started kissing back, he was pleased. His hand slid up to her hair and for that one moment they were both utterly happy. He thought for sure she wouldn't be ready for this, but he guessed he was wrong.

What seemed like an endless moment finished when she pulled back. He looked at her, and she at him. They both knew that something had changed. They liked it.

She led him to the door same as ever. He hugged her goodbye and he got into his mom's car. Everything was as if nothing had ever happened and for only an instant, she feared she had dreamt it all. That thought ceased to exist once she closed the door, she could still feel his touch.

They had, no doubt, started dating. Every time they could be together was cherished. She had never been able to be as open with someone as she was with him. She knew that he was something special. The next few months were similar to what she imagined Heaven would be like. She was living life to the fullest.

It was a cold day, on that day that she would look back on some many times. They were both in the commons area at school waiting for the bell to ring and for their day to begin. She realized she was surrounded by people with whom she was actually having conversations with. She didn't feel threatened at all; not with him by her side.

It all happened so quickly. Someone yelled "FIGHT!" and she turned around. She was only about ten feel away from it. There were two boys that looked angry getting ready to throw punches. This wasn't uncommon, it had just never happened so close to her. It wasn't the fight itself that stunned her, it was the memories behind it all. She was somewhere else, remembering horrifying scenes from her past. She hated it all so much. They just kept coming and coming from an unknown source deep in the recesses of her mind. These were the memories that she had chosen to keep blocked all these years. Now she was trapped within them. What was worse was there was one of the fighters that had been shoved hurling toward her. Her eyes saw it and she knew she was in the way, but her mind was far off.

Suddenly she remembered her plan. Her brain was so busy with the memories flashing by that she could barely identify what she had planned to do all these years. She was literally confined within her own brain. She couldn't command her body.

Then she was brought back. At first it was an unfamiliar touch. She felt it, but couldn't place where it was or who was causing it. She looked back and saw Ricky, he was pulling her towards him. She had no choice but to obey. He pulled her closer, safer. She was so shaken up. Her mind was as if it were a video camera, it could only see the sights, not interoperate them.

When the fight cleared out Ricky and her friends looked at her. "Are you okay?" they asked, concerned.

"I'm fine, it just took me by surprise," she lied. She hadn't been surprised by the fight at all.

The bell rang then, saving her from future questioning. The next class couldn't hold her concentration though. Her mind kept going back to that scene. Then she realized she hadn't stopped the fight. She had merely ran away, scared. She was so weak, she couldn't even get between two guys to stop some high school drama.

After school, Ricky met her at the door. It was a Tuesday so at least she wouldn't have to pretend to be happy much longer. She didn't want her friends to worry. Now that she had friends.

"Are you okay?" He asked for about the millionth time today. He noticed she had been unusually quiet at lunch.

"I told you, Ricky, I'm fine. I was just surprised. That's it." She said in an exasperated tone.

"You're not telling me something, and that's okay. I don't have to know. I just want you to be okay. Do you want me to walk you home?"

"I'll be okay. Bye Ricky." She said with a kiss goodbye.

As she walked home she realized she was checking over her shoulder again, she kept suspecting innocent people, creating plans of escape. She was surely going mad. She hadn't been this paranoid in months. As soon as she got home she dead bolted the door and headed straight up to her room. She thought about everything that had happened in that day. She forced herself to revisit all the memories that had been brought up. When she had finished reliving the last horror she realized she had started crying. She didn't cry, it only showed weakness. How had she become so weak?

The doorbell rang. She jumped at the sudden sound vibrating through the house. Making her way down the stairs, her mind-back to its old habits-went through who it could be and what she would do depending on the person. By the time she reached the door she had come up with many different scenarios including murder, police, kidnappers, and many others. Her heart started to race as she firmly gripped the doorknob.

It was Ricky.

"I know you said you were okay, but I wasn't convinced. I obviously was right by the wetness of your cheeks" He explained noticing she had been crying.

She invited him in and they sat on the couch. He talked for a little bit assuring her that she could tell him anything. After a long silence, she let it all out. She told him everything, the memories, the paranoia, the weakness she had been feeling.

"You're not weak." He said at the end of her confessions. "You are the strongest person I know if you've been through all of that."

"Don't you understand? I couldn't even take three steps forward to get in the middle of it! I was such a coward!" She started to yell. The yelling just caused more tears, she was so tired. She actually started to shake she was so frustrated with her limitations.

He pulled her close to him. She started to cry into him. Never had she been so ashamed of her lack of strength. She was exhausted from the day that she just let go and leaned against him. When she finally calmed down she realized she could hear his heart beat. It was soothing, relaxing. She realized then that she needed him. No matter if he made her weak or strong, she needed him. He started to stroke her hair. She only needed him more then. She was so drained to even care she had just cried.

He leaned down and whispered to her, "I'm going to kiss you."

And he did.


End file.
